June 2013
it was along a river bank in North Carolina. Or maybe on the peaks of the mountains along the Blue Ridge mountains. I am not a christian woman in any sense, but the way murky water flows over rocks that seem to be carved like staircases, I understand blind faith and the hope that all this bountiful glory was fashioned just for me.
But that is the vanity of man; this place will exist in uninterrupted bliss once it escapes my scrutiny and observation. Water will keep flowing hungrily over rocks and lap at banks; trees will still be standing, tethered by roots that run deeper and are stronger than any sense of kinship I may have; and the solemn rocks that rise from the water, taller than I can ever hope to be will still have time weathered into their grim faces. Natural life will never cease to be when I stop paying attention to it.
And there is comfort in that thought; that should everything in my world crash and burn around me, should my heart break a million times, somewhere along a river bank in North Carolina, or on the peaks of the Blue Ride Mountains, all of this will still be present. If I am knocked to my knees by the chaotic swirling of thoughts in my head and heart, the water will flow now faster. The sun will shine no brighter. The trees will stand no straighter. And the whispering of sunlight between the leaves will not quiet.
So in times of sadness, look to constants because despite the heaviness of your lead-weighted heart, water will always be flowing over rocks and the smell of summer in North Carolina will never change.
when everything else is falling apart around me
i know
that a boiling kettle can solve most of the problems
that if you call me at three a.m. in the middle of a raging storm
that I will put on some tea, a jacket, and find you
and i may not be the best of friends
because i am selfish
and constantly staring into the barrel of a gun
riding the chaos of my ups and downs
but I know what it is like to feel like you are loosing your fucking mind
and i will bring you back to the real world
even if the real world
is on a damp cement porch
or this sticky floor of your kitchen
with a cup of tea in your hand
With him.
(via underthecarolinamoon)Why do men think women are angry just on their period?
I’m angry all the time. Get the fuck away from me
Accurate.
you sad
you should know
that it does
not know
you.” —Kabir (via insipidexpectations)
It was your idea
to park and watch the elephants
swaying among the trees
like royalty
at that make-believe safari
near Laguna.
I didn’t know anything that big
could be so quiet.
And once, you stopped
on a dark desert road
to show me the stars
climbing over each other
riotously
like insects
like an orchestra
thrashing its way
through time itself
I never saw light that way
again.
DOROTHEA GROSSMAN
I’m stuck between wanting to be an adult, accomplishing a lot, and contributing a lot to society and lying on my floor, ignoring my responsibilities, and crying to sad songs alone in my room.
- hot guy: *sneezes*
- me: i would say god bless you
- me: but it seems like he already did
Mars in Scorpio natives who have low self-esteem can become mighty twisted. Instead of beating themselves up, they turn self-loathing outward, and end up manipulating others and feeling resentful.
outside my window will suffice for tonight.
I’m not drunk yet, but we haven’t spoken in months now
and I wanted to tell you that someone threw a bouquet of roses
in the trash bin on the corner of my street, and I wanted to cry
because, because —
well,
you know exactly why.
And, I guess I’m calling because only you understand
how that would break my heart.
I’m running out of things to say. My gas is running on empty.
I’ve stopped stealing pages out of poetry books, but last week I pocketed a thesaurus
and looked for synonyms for you but could only find rain and more rain
and a thunderstorm that sounded like glass, like crystal, like an orchestra.
I wanted to tell you that I’m not afraid of being moved anymore;
Not afraid of this heart packing up its things and flying transcontinental
with only a wool coat and a pocket with a folded-up address inside.
I’ve saved up enough money to disappear.
I know you never thought the day would come.
Do you remember when we said goodbye and promised that
it was only for then? It’s been years since I last saw you, years
since we last have spoken.
Sometimes, it gets quiet enough that I can hear the cicadas rubbing their thighs
against each other’s.
I’ve forgotten almost everything about you already, except that
your skin was soft, like the belly of a peach, and
how you would laugh,
making fun of me for the way I pronounced almonds
like I was falling in love
with language.” —Shinji Moon, “If I Left You A Voicemail This Would Be It” (via alighthouseofwords)
hfAEJIJIFJIFE
Red lipstick makes me feel like I could cut a man’s heart out with a high heel shoe and fucking eat it.
You either know what I’m talking about or you don’t
You will trust people who do not at all deserve it. You will take the dream for the reality.
-149 Square Mercury - Venus
Negative aspect: The letter you are so eagerly awaiting will never arrive: {she|he} will have forgotten you.
Thanks birth chart. :C
