theloraxformula
yeah, they hit me last night. I’ve forgiven myself for my mistakes, but I can’t help that I have the urge to repeat them. This marks the anniversary of my fall into addiction and it feels really strange- like a heavy, scratchy blanket has been wrapped around my brain and eyes, making me feel detached. When I’m awake I feel as if I’m dreaming, when I’m dreaming I feel as if I’m awake. Looking at drug related things and I, with my fucking mighty mind, can get a mental high which makes me want to have a legit high which then makes me feel horribly guilty and worried. D: Blech.
I’m just going to suck it up, and truck through I s’pose. I’ve made it this far sober, surely I can make it a bit further.
Also, considering taking up using KavaKava for moments like these. But then, what if I get addicted to that? “You can’t get addicted to that…” Yeah I can. Easily. Trust.
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theloraxformula posted this
