Ask me anything   Submit   Read the Printed Word!
i have a farm. and blue eyes. and a nice nose. and red hair.
wonderings, pictures, tidbits
bubble and squeak.
my name is ash.
slytherpuff, female, manic depressive, bellydancer, insomniac, feminist, bubbly drunk, hedge,hearth, and green witch, welcome to my world.
there are massive amounts of
the following: harry potter, batman, and various hippie dippy things. good day to you.

those thoughts you thought where too deep to come out

yeah, they hit me last night. I’ve forgiven myself for my mistakes, but I can’t help that I have the urge to repeat them. This marks the anniversary of my fall into addiction and it feels really strange- like a heavy, scratchy blanket has been wrapped around my brain and eyes, making me feel detached. When I’m awake I feel as if I’m dreaming, when I’m dreaming I feel as if I’m awake. Looking at drug related things and I, with my fucking mighty mind, can get a mental high which makes me want to have a legit high which then makes me feel horribly guilty and worried. D: Blech.

I’m just going to suck it up, and truck through I s’pose. I’ve made it this far sober, surely I can make it a bit further.

Also, considering taking up using KavaKava for moments like these. But then, what if I get addicted to that? “You can’t get addicted to that…” Yeah I can. Easily. Trust.

— 3 years ago with 3 notes
#personal  #addiction  #guilt  #fml 
  1. theloraxformula posted this