this time of year that gets to me. I feel horribly claustrophobic and trapped, and I just have this horrible urge to disappear for a month or so. It’s this tightness in my chest and a heaviness in my stomach that I can’t get rid of. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had an appropriate amount of alone time, but I can’t stand being in this place anymore. I just feel like I can’t get away, like I never will.
There’s also this little itch at the base of my mind reminding me of how free I felt when I was snorting pills this time last year- how open and wide-eyed I was. I just…things are getting too concrete. I’d like a tattoo, but where to get one?
I feel like if I just had that little hit of pain I’d be alright; I’d come back to me again.